Oh My Rockness

Brooklyn's Life Size Maps are a weird band whose sound goes all over the place. This is not meant to be disparaging. After all, this profile is for a section on the site called "Band We LIKE." No, Life Size Maps are eccentric and befuddling and meandering in the very best way.

Using an array of traditional and non-traditional instruments (a car's metal suspension coil... a Steinway with screws in its strings... or weirdest of all, a cello), this trio manages to create epic and euphoric noise rock that sounds like no other epic, euphoric band that has come before them. And since the history of music spans a few million years (hieroglyphics were simply Cavemen scratching rhythms on the walls, don’t you know), I’d say this is pretty darn impressive.

But if you had to do the band comparison thing, I'd say maybe No Age meets Melt-Banana meets... man, I don't even know. It's hard to describe Life Size Maps. But luckily, they're really easy to like. Go see them play and you'll see for yourself what I mean.

Speaking of shows, Life Size Maps have most recently played with other Rockness favorites like DIVE + The Babies + Alex Bleeker and The Freaks. But that's just most recently. These three play out a lot. And they're getting good because of it... really good.

Thomas Mullarney III and Jacob Gossett are the duo known as Beacon. They're based out of Greenpoint, Brooklyn. As an important aside, if you ever find yourself in Greenpoint you should definitely seek out the empanadas made and sold in that Laundromat. To die for, I tell you.

But moving on, this electronic duo makes down-tempo soulful jams meant for making out, or staring at the moon, or fileting some mignon. There is no wrong activity to accompany down-tempo electronica, after all. It's like the color black; it goes well with everything.

Beacon's sound has been compared to The Weeknd and James Blake and Fever Ray. And I think Mullarney's vocals over this groove-nasty electro seduction often sounds like the Sigur Ros guy meets a little bit of Thom Yorke. That hybrid leads you to a pleasant voice.

All of this probably means only one thing: Beacon is one mellow band, baby. So when you want to go mellow, Beacon isn't a bad place to start for help in getting there. And when you're done getting mellow, grab some of those empanadas from that Laundromat to pump yourself back up. They're a taste explosion in your mouth.

Clams Casino is a clam on a halfshell with breadcrumbs and bacon (thanks Wikipedia!) That sounds delicious, doesn't it? But if you think that's appetizing, just wait 'til you listen to Clams Casino the man. Just you wait, bub.

The man is New Jersey's electronic maestro Mike Volpe (for the record, Com Truise is a New Jersey electronic maestro, too). Volpe got his shot at the big leagues (whatever that means... just wanted to write it) by creating original beats and remixes for hip-hops stars like Soulja Boy and Lil B. But it's his instrumental magic (sans the raps) that makes Clams Casino ALMOST as good as bacon and breadcrumbs.

Think of these slow-ish bass-and-boom heavy jams as sounding a little bit like Gold Panda or Mux Mool or Luke Abbott. And in the synths, I definitely can hear an Aphex Twin influence (then again, what electronic artist hasn't been influenced by Mr. Richard D. James).

So here's what you need to know about Clams Casino in a nutshell... or should I say halfshell (ba-dum-dum-crash): his songs aren't club thumpers. They're not going to make you get all sweaty and propel you to lose your inhibitions and do something you'll most likely regret. Clams Casino's jams are good for... what's the word... oh yeah... chillin'. And no one ever regretted chillin' as far as I know.

Field Mouse is a sweet and dreamy band from Brooklyn started by singer Rachel Browne and Andrew Futral (they're now a band of four, just so you know... your knowledge of how many people are in a band is my only goal, dear Rockness reader).

Field Music is the kind of band that makes me want to lie on top of a pile of warm fluffy towels for a few hours. I'd just lie there, gazing at my bathroom's mildew-y ceiling, and listen to these honeyed songs of indie-pop bliss. Maybe I'd wrap one of the warm towels around my face and smell its freshness as I listen, too. Who's to say? But to me, that sounds like a pretty pleasant way to spend an afternoon... listening to Field Music... smelling warm fluffy towels. (Some say I have too much time on my hands, but I don't see it.)

Oh yeah, if you liked Velocity Girl (if you didn't like Velocity Girl, what kind of monster are you?!?!) there's a great chance you'll like Field Mouse. That reference is perhaps a better sound association for Field Music than a pile of warm fluffy towels. But perhaps not.

Let's do an experiment. I want you to go to IKEA, buy some fluffy towels, go home, wash them, dry them, make sure you throw in some fabric softener (this is very important), fold them, lie on top of them, and listen to Field Music. What will you find? You'll find that Lou Reed was wrong. THIS is your perfect day, dear Rockness reader. This is your perfect day.

"All I want to do is talk, but seeing you fucks me up." That's the chorus to one of Big Deal's songs. I feel like that gives you an idea of what this London duo is all about. But my feelings are often wrong (When I don't "stay true to myself," as they say... FART NOISE).

So let me explain further. Big Deal is Alice Costelloe and KC Underwood (oh, he's American; isn't that fun). Together, they write fuzzy, sparse songs full of relationship-weary pathos. These slow moving, mostly acoustic songs are generally about being fucked up and not being able to think straight and just not wanting to think about the problems of love in general. Sounds like a party to me!

If you're in the middle of a painful break-up with a once-significant other, Big Deal is the kind of band that you can listen to so you can feel a little bit better. Someone else has been there, someone else understands! Then again, Big Deal may just accelerate and propel your downward spiral into self-hating misery and total despair. As I say, sounds like a party to me! (Hey, I made it through this band profile without talking about what big deal these two will be! If you mention it in parentheses, it doesn't count!)

San Francisco's Young Prisms play fuzzed out, spacey psych rock that is all swirly and noisy and hazy and narcotic, man. It's narcotic! So basically exactly what you think a young up-and-coming band from San Francisco would sound like (minus the great garage rock situation SF has got going).

This is a band best listened to with the harsh white lights of the room off and the warm colored lights of your home planetarium on. You should totally listen to this band when you go to Mars, man. You know what I'm saying... yeah, I know you do.

Young Prisms have been compared to bands like (any band that uses noise effectively is compared to Sonic Youth) and My Bloody Valentine (any band that uses swirl effectively is... well, you know). Actually, they sound like a lot of bands. But that's neither here or there now is it?

It's also been said that Young Prisms plays "sun-drenched" music, but I don't agree. Young Prisms are drenched by the night; those clear, moon filled nights when all the stars are out and your mind gets blown by the hugeness of the universe. "Whoa. Is that a shooting star I just saw, man? Man, I totally think that was a shooting star!" Yeah. That's what Young Prisms is all about.

If you don't like Allo Darlin's perfectly catchy pop, there's something seriously wrong with you. Seriously! How can you not like – wait. Stop. Let's wait a minute here. Let's not do that. Let's take a step back. Why should you allow someone you don't even know to say you have faults because you don't like a band? That's ridiculous! Of course it's fine for you not to like Allo Darlin's music.

But to that point, what the HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?! How can you not like Allo Darlin? Are you some kind of monster?! This is like the poppiest of pop music that's ever been created in the history of pop music. This foursome makes The Beach Boys sound like Black Dice. Allo Darlin' makes The Beatles sound like Merzbow.

Fronted by Elizabeth Morris, it's almost as if she's DARING you NOT to get in a better mood and rededicate your life to happiness. So you go see Allo Darlin' and prepare to turn that frown upside down, sir! Let those eyes shine again, Madame! For everything will be ok. Allo Darlin's music is happy songs for happy people.

Oh, and did I mention Elizabeth Morris also plays a ukulele!?! GOODBYE PAIN AND TEARS FOREVER. (Of course, Morris could be singing about the depravity of humanity for all I know... the loudness of my inner joy was drowning out the lyrical content.)

Canada's Grimes is actually Montreal's Claire Boucher. I guess you can call this ethereal atmospheric electronic music, but then you'd probably want to walk away from this profile at best and... well... let's not get into worst case scenarios here.

You and I both know that what I just said to describe Grimes' music means absolutely nothing. After all, Enya (and whatever Enya’s sister or cousin or whoever that relative was who was riding Enya’s coattails for a while there circa 1994) could also be described as ethereal atmospheric electronic music. And Grimes doesn't sound like Enya. You heard that here first. "Ethereal" music like this is hard to describe. That's why people say things are "ethereal." No one questions "ethereal."

Let's start over and try to do a better job of describing Grimes. How about this, "Grimes sounds like a pop triumph!" Oops, that's another thing that doesn't mean anything. How about, "Whatever Grimes is; chillwave and Dub Step this is not." Closer. How about, "Don't walk! I command you to RUN and see Grimes play!" Farther. Ok, final try. "Grimes is good music made with good machines and sung by a good singer who has a good voice." BOOM! (Grimes also sounds like whales jumping out of the sea in slow motion.)

Minneapolis' Howler is the once side-project now main-project of Jordan Gatesmith. He is (was?) in that band Total Babe. He's also 19. He was also named by NME as one of the "50 coolest people of 2011." Oh, brother. Anyway... the more you know, the more you grow.

Howler plays that lo-fi surf garage thing that's been popular these days. But it's not really THAT lo-fi because these super catchy songs definitely have some polish. That's not to say lo-fi doesn't have much polish; it's just that lo-fi doesn't seem to have much polish. And that's something I DON'T back down from, unless I take the time to think about it some more.

When I first heard Howler I thought they sounded like Surf City. Other comparisons range from The Vaccines (Howler's upcoming tour mates) to The Strokes (haha) to any of those other bands that sound abrasively sunny but like... kind of doo-wop, too. You know what I'm saying? Good, because I don't.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to devise ways of getting on NME's "coolest people of 2012" list. I'm thinking it's going to start with "torn clothes held together with safety pins," but "don't quote me on that."

Young Dreams are a young band from Bergen, Norway (that dreams). This is ethereally tender dream-pop. And that's another way of saying that this sounds like Animal Collective, which used to be another way of saying Brian Wilson. Oh, the genres they go round and round.

Now I don't know for SURE for sure because I haven't yet seen them play, but I'm fairly certain there are one thousand members in this band. Now that's what I call a collective! Ok, maybe not a thousand (people keep telling me a million times to stop exaggerating so much) but there are definitely a LOT. And when you have that many people playing instruments (Is a glockenspiel involved? Of COURSE a glockenspiel is involved!) your music can definitely go to dreamy, other-worldly territories.

You'll like Young Dreams if you like precious-enough pop. You might also like Young Dreams if you like Animal Collective and Brian Wilson. You will definitely not like Young Dreams if you like to get drunk and throw your fist through a stranger's face. Young Dreams are for lovers, not fighters. C'mon, a glockenspiel never hurt anybody.

Mux Mool is the performing name of Brooklyn's electronic phenomenon Brian Lindgren. He recently signed to Ghostly International and that's the perfect record label for this guy's melodic instrumental beat-synth slightly hip-hop thing. Check out his label mates Com Truise + Gold Panda + Tycho for a sound comparison starting point and you'll hear what we mean. Also, he's not on Ghostly but if you've heard and liked Luke Abbott you'll also probably like Mux Mool.

As you probably can tell if you've read these profiles on Rockness over the last year or so, I've been REALLY into electronic music and just when I think it has run its course for me, another guy like Mux Mool comes along to show me there's still a lot of creativity left in the genre to keep me coming back for more.

But really it's best just to listen to this guy's jams then to spend a ton more time describing what's going on here. Because to be honest, I don't know. I'm not a gear head. I just know it rules. I don't know how to make cotton candy either, but that doesn't stop me from eating it. Sometimes it's best for the magic to wash over you without getting too much into the minutiae. Know what I'm sayin’?

You might know San Francisco's Mikal Cronin if you're a fan of Ty Segall (which I am). He's played in the punk's band forever. Cronin also plays in the well-respected band, Moonhearts. But now Cronin's solo, and his self-titled debut album seems to be on almost everyone's year-end best album shortlist.

Why? Because it's so damn catchy, that's why! This is just good old fuzzy garage rock that will leave no one in a worse mood after hearing it. There are so many hooks to this guy he might as well open a bait 'n tackle shop when his rock 'n roll days are behind him. That's good retirement living, right there.

But those days aren't going to come around anytime soon. As much as I love Ty Segall, Mikal Cronin might someday be the answer to the trivia question, "What famous rocker was originally in a band with Ty Segall."

Finally, I should mention that John Dwyer from Thee Oh Sees plays flute on Mikal Cronin's album. Wouldn't you want to hear how the hell they managed to pull that off? Anyway, score one for garage rock. Not sure who garage rock is playing against, or even that we were playing a game, but score one for them anyway. And score one for Mikal Cronin, too.

You may not know this guy by name (yet). But you probably know his body of work. Most notably, he co-produced Dirty Projectors' critically acclaimed album "Bitte Orca" (let's face it; the production pretty much made that album), he's a frequent collaborator with Zach Hill (one of the greatest living drummers), he was a touring member of Marnie Stern's crew, and he recently worked with breakout star Youth Lagoon.

And now he's begun playing under his own name, and let me tell you... people will forget about what he's worked on in the past because they'll be too busy marveling at the soulful "Alt 'n B" ethereal electro beats this guy is making in the present. Think dream-pop meets hip-hop meets some glitches and clicks, and all that layered in lushness. It's great stuff.

Anticon is putting out his debut. Grab that. Raleigh Moncrief is also playing the Oh My Rockness presented show @ The El Rey Theatre in LA on 12/17/11 with label mate Baths (love Baths) + the mighty DNTEL. This information will be useless to you from 12/18/11 till forever, but we couldn't help but mention it. We're proud to be associated (in whatever small way) with a guy as talented as this.

New Moods is a Brooklyn trio featuring Melati Malay (Young Magic) + Billy Jones (Other Passengers + Pianos maestro) + Sean Maffucci. Together, they make super catchy noir-ish electronic pop that is like an '80s version of... wait, I lost my train of thought. I was busy banging my index fingers on my desk to New Moods's big beats and got too absorbed in my own private rock out to think of comparisons.

And anyway, who can think of words when this band's pimp grooves are pumping out of your speakers? During New Mood's best jam, "Playtime," I even busted out a few robot moves... to the horror of my neighbors across the way. Whatever. They just don't understand what dark and catchy dance music can do to a person. Or maybe they take issue with me doing the robot without any clothes on. Hard to say.

But moving on, where was I? Oh yeah, New Moods is like an '80s version of... ugh! My fingers are drumming again! My body is mechanically moving! It's not me! It just happens! Boy, I better turn off the New Moods jams. I've got work to do. I also better find some pants. The neighbors appear to be dialing the authorities.

Australia's Twerps play laid-back surf-ish (that's a word now) garage pop that kind of reminds me of Urge Overkill. Is anyone still reminded of Urge Overkill these days? Apparently so, Rockness reader. Apparently so.

This easy-going pop just sort of glides along at its own freewheeling pace, rocking you out in the most natural way. And that's always been the recipe for sold-out show success and second dates: just be yourself. Oh wait, that's actually the opposite of how we want our rock stars to act. We want Bono.

Well, whatever. My theory might be blown, but Twerps are still a really solid band. They write good guitar jams. So that's all you need to know at this particular time.

The excellent Underwater Peoples record label (Spectrals, Julian Lynch, Real Estate, Big Troubles and the super solid list goes on and on...) put out Twerps record here in the States. You should get it if you can't see them play around here. They are from Melbourne after all. That flight is no joke.

Wisconsin's Peaking Lights are a husband/wife duo comprised of Indra Dunis (primary vocalist) and Aaron Coyes. This band is probably unlike any band you've heard before (perhaps). Primarily relying on a Hammond organ, a drum machine, some big time bass thumps, and loops (lots and lots of loops) Peaking Lights create something like "harmonious space drone magic pop."

It's weird. It's pretty. It's strangely danceable. It's kind of drugged out. It's not boring. And due to the singularity of the way these songs are built (the creative craftsmanship at work here is readily apparent even to the most casual music fan), the result is a unique musical feat that can't easily be replicated.

That’s why I'm betting you've never heard a band like this before. But I'm not betting money. I'm betting cookies; because you are probably a pretty sharp tack when it comes to bands and the history of music. I can afford to part with my Hydrox (there're more of those at Mommy's house). I can't afford to part with my bread, baby. This $37 is going to take over the world someday.

So give Peaking Lights a listen. If you like them, invite me over for a Peaking Lights dance party. Shit would get crazzzzzy. I'll bring the sweets; you provide the shrooms (you see, I always like to eat vegetables to offset the deleterious effects of really sugary snacks).

Mister Heavenly is Nick Thorburn (The Unicorns/Islands) + Ryan Kattner (Man Man) + Joe Plummer (Modest Mouse). Now if it's ok with everyone, I'm not going to call Mister Heavenly a supergroup. Is that cool? Ok, great.

So what are these three mortal men all about? Glad you asked. Mister Heavenly plays dirty bounce pop. What is bounce pop? I don't know. But I'm going to do my best to make that a real thing. What makes this music dirty? The guitars sound like they aren't clean. That's what makes it dirty.

By the way, Michael Cera (you know, the actor) was the touring bass member of this band for a while. Does that fact make you want to like Mister Heavenly more or less? The same, you say? Because you haven't yet heard Mister Heavenly, you say? Well, what are you waiting for? Get listening because this band profile is going nowhere!

(BTW, you can get Mister Heavenly's debut record on super little-known label, Sub Pop. Man, SO many new record labels popping up these days... who can keep track of them all.)

The name sort of says it all. So now allow me to spend several sentences saying more so I can justify my existence. Heavenly Beat is a perfectly pleasant (my Oh My Rockness partner says I say bands sound "pleasant" too much; but if that's a crime, go ahead and kill me pleasantly) new band from John Pena. Pena is a member of the mighty Beach Fossils (who are also very pleasant), so if you like that band you just might like this band.

Heavenly Beat makes easy-going guitar pop (lots of pretty noodling floating around here) with surprisingly thump-ish beats beefing up the background. I also hear a hint of Flamenco in here, but I would need a more investigative Flamenco study to determine if that hint solves the mystery.

Let's go back to Beach Fossils for a minute because everyone else will: if Beach Fossils is surf-ish pop, think of Heavenly Beat as pina colada pop. This is the type of music to recline to, the type of music that takes stress and headaches away... unless you had 18 pina coladas as you were relaxing to this, of course. Then you'd just think Heavenly Beat was puke-pop. But that's not a Heavenly Beat issue, that's your issue of not knowing when to say when. Get help.

And get this perfectly pleasant band's debut 7" out now on Captured Tracks (home to almost everyone awesome). You're going to like this band. If you don't, you've probably told a 2-year-old that Santa Claus isn't real at some point in your life.

Selebrities is a trio from Brooklyn led by singer Maria Usbeck that plays moody post-something pop that will remind you of the early 2000s which reminded you of the early 1980s. Selebrities jams are full of those goth-y synths, sad guitar jingle-jangles, haunting bass lines, and lots of those scattered click-clack beats that like to go all noir.

Yes, there's definitely a Joy Division thing going on here and if you hate me for saying that in 2011, well, you haven't listened to Selebrities yet. So this is definitely not a new sound, or even a new OLD sound, but it's still a good sound. And good sounds is what it's all about, right?

Think of Selebrities as kind of like a really good slice of pizza. As you're eating it are you saying "well, this is nothing new... it's just melted cheese and tomato sauce and a crispy crust" or are you saying, "MDSHFOSDUFSNDDEDD" because your mouth is full of cheesy deliciousness?

You see? That's what I'm talking about when I talk about Selebrities. They're like a really good slice of pizza. You heard it here first and if you hear that anywhere else, our lawyer will be calling them soon.

The Chain Gang of 1974 is the completely accessible electro-pop project of Kamtin Mohager of Denver (by way of Hawaii... wow, tough move). I mean, REALLY accessible. If you were to put this on while in the company of your grandma, she just may pause from that crossword puzzle to raise an eyebrow and ask, "Who's this?" Or she might not even notice it or you. But whatever.

These are pretty fantastic dance songs with car commercials in their future. The Chain Gang of 1974 (still too young for an acceptable band name abbreviation... TCG1974 sounds like the calculator that DFA1979 would use) can be compared in sound to LCD Soundsystem (the beats) and Cold Cave (the synths) and Passion Pit (really, only when he goes falsetto though) and any of those old New Wave bands that sometimes got all goth on you.

This band will make you feel "up" instead of "down" and "happy" instead of "death is everywhere for all of us forever." But I digress; I should go call my Grandma. But I better go pick up The Chain Gang of 1974's debut Wayward Fire on vinyl for her first. She likes doing crosswords while listening to wax.

Minneapolis duo Elite Gymnastics (comprised of James Brooks and Josh Clancey) create wonderful beat-driven club dusters that could be considered electro-hip-hop-chillwave if you wanted to take all parts of their sound into consideration. But I just consider them a band that makes me want to be a better man.

That's a joke (actually, they make me want to be a worse man), but these jams AIN'T NO JOKE, YO. These beats go crazy under sunny, synth-sampled skies. By the way, I am officially putting in an official request for this band to officially tour with Small Black. The two would be a perfect match.

Oh, and maybe Javelin can play too. Yeah! They can call it The Triple Crown Crusher! So... does anyone know how to submit an official request for something? Should I just let my fingers do the walking and search under "O"? Ok, I'll try it. Hmmm, so far I'm just getting a whole bunch of ophthalmologist listings. (New business idea: start Oh My Ophthalmologistness for the discerning ophthalmologist fan).

Well, we'll work on that official request. But in the meantime, let Elite Gymnastics work on your ass... because you'll be grooving to these guys' jams allllll nighttttt longgggggg. I said it. I believe it. That settles it.

LA's Fidlar has a song called "Wake Bake Skate." Now imagine what a band with a song called "Wake Bake Skate" would sound like and Tah-dah! You just imagined Fidlar. These guys are a scuzzy, lo-fi thrash-party band that sounds like Wavves meets The Black Lips meets Ty Segall or something.

They put some power behind these dirty garage ditties, too. This isn't a band for those who half-ass and second-guess. Fidlar is for peeps that go for it. Fidlar either makes me want to surf or break things, I can't tell which. Maybe it's best if I just break things as I surf... like my neck, because I can't surf.

Anyway, this just might be the new favorite band for those reverb-loving kids out there who are straight-up tired of synths (chillwave, this ain't). Try listening to Fidlar shortly after you wake, right before you go bake (cookies and cakes and things so early in the morning?) and then skate. Do all those things and you'll get their appeal. You'll totally get it, brah.

This guy knows the beats, bros. He knows the beats. Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs (no way I am writing that out again) is a long name for the thumping electro project of just one dude, Orlando Higginbottom. He's from Oxford, England.

And speaking of which, what is UP with the Oxford music scene cranking out all the big time dance jams lately?! Amazing! Ok, maybe I’m just thinking of Chad Valley and TEED. But that's 2 more big time dance jam masters from Oxford than I've ever thought of before, so... there you go.

Live, this guy doesn't just twiddle some knobs behind some machinery with his head down. This is a SHOW. He throws around confetti (from a gun, obviously) and messes around with silly props and blasts crazy light swirls and just generally creates the perfect environment for a big dance party. And oh yeah, Higginbottom definitely dresses up as a dinosaur when he plays live. So there's that.

Anyway, this guy isn't concerned with being too super serious as he cranks out the club hits. And 90% of the time I will always back that carefree attitude 100% of the time. After all, it's only rock 'n roll... errr... electro. Right? I like this so much I'm going to contradict myself and write out the name again; go see Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs. You'll have a good time. I guarantee it*. (*not a guarantee)

London's Pandr Eyez is the duo of vocalist Ferren Gipson (she's got a silky smooth voice) and keys/beats guy Tom Lloyd (he's got silk smooth...fingers?). The music they make is instantly accessible. These jams could seriously be played on mainstream radio right now if mainstream radio knew what was good for them (they, apparently, do not).

So Pandr Eyes rock all sorts of sounds. But think electro meets some nice and warm atmospherics meets some huge bass booms mixed with a little bit of laid-back soul and a mighty small dose of trip-hop (did I really just write 'trip-hop' in a Rockness band profile?!). That description won't totally nail Pandr Eyez' sound (they're too interesting to be nailed so easily), but it'll get you pretty darn close.

Comparisons to The Sneaker Pimps have been tossed around too. But if you're like me, that comparison will make you run away from Pandr Eyez. Please don't. They're different somehow.

The band's EP recently came out on the better-by-the-day label Cascine (Chad Valley is on that label too, so they must be doing something right) and could seriously burst through the indie bubble and into public consciousness. I mean, it probably won't. But it could, guys. It could. Have a listen and you'll see what I mean.

Spectrals is 21-year-old U.K. chill popper, Louis Jones. As Spectrals, Jones creates (mostly) sunshine guitar pop that mixes some slow soul swirl with a little bit of laid-back doo wop retro rock. Yes, that's a fancy way of saying not much at all.

So how about this; do you like Real Estate? If you do, you have a 95% chance of liking Spectrals. Same kind of breezy jingle jangle guitar thing at work here. I think if you like Girls you'll also be into this too.

These jams are about as easy going as you're going to find out there in indie land. Jones has a good voice but it doesn't overpower anything. Rather, his voice acts as a warm compliment to the groovy melodies (yes, I did just type groovy... you trying to tell me you've never done it?).

All these pop parts blend together to make something that's all very... nice. If you can't unload some stress after listening to Spectrals, well, there's always cross country running. Have you ever thought of taking that up? Or, have you ever read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?" You think it's going to be cheesy in a '70s cheesy sort of way, but it's not really. Anyway...

You know when you play a song for the first time from a band you've never heard of and you instantly like it before you even know what you're really listening to? That's the experience I had listening to Religious Girls. The more I listened the more I liked.

And then I learned a little more about these guys. They are a trio from Oakland. And I guess people like to call them experimental (whatever that means... that they're not neat, I suppose). And I found out that Religious Girls make their music using 2 keyboards and 2 sets of drums and 3 vocalists (all of them sing).

But the most important thing I learned was something I learned in just those first few seconds of listening. This music just glows in originality. Let's not even try to do the "they sound like these other bands" thing.

I want you to have the same experience with Religious Girls that I did. Just give them a blind chance and come into it cold. If you don't like them within the first 10 seconds, you're never going to like them. And that's fine. But for those who hear what I heard, well, you'll get it. And then you'll want to get even more.

This is optimistically intricate. It's happily dense. Its clutter is joyously crafted. It's... experimental. No. It just rules.

Friends is a band of five based in Bushwick (that's in Brooklyn for the 99% of the population that doesn't think the borough is the center of the universe) that was started not too long ago by primary singer/songwriter Samantha Urbani (whose voice once received a Mariah Carey comparison?) and Lesley Hann. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're friends.

Anyway, the hype machine is off and chugging for Friends. But that's what happens when you throw down some seriously catchy beats and synths like this. As we all know, trains love beats and synths... it helps pass the time as they transport all that coal and cement and stuff.

People frequently compare Friends' sound to ESG. Did ESG invent beats? I wasn't aware of that. Better check Wikipedia. Friends also rock a similar sparkling sunshine-y vibe to that of Body Language, another recent Rockness favorite.

But comparisons can go out the window now. What you need to know is that Friends is dance-y and poppy and disco-y and a little post-punk-y. And their songs come with an aura of overall brightness. Goth, this is not.

So I guess this is all to say that Friends is a pretty damn good party band. A party band for happy ALTS, that is. Bushwick has a good scene these days, doesn't it? Oh. Sorry. Bushwick is a neighborhood in Brooklyn... which is a borough in New York City... which is this town on the East Coast.

Pujol is Daniel Pujol. This Nashville guy is creating some really great Southern-twinged garage rock that is definitely right up there with the best of the current crop. It's so easy to get down to this, you don't even have to try.

And if you find yourself having to try, you probably just don't like garage rock all that much. That's fine, of course. Just make sure you've given it a chance while boozed up. If you don't drink, that's cool too. Just get drunk in the mind, man. And THEN watch Pujol do his blasts and you just might get it.

This gritty lo-fi goodness with boatloads of catchiness will perhaps appeal to fans of Wavves + Jeff the Brotherhood + Ty Segall + Eddy Current Supression Ring. And hell, I forgot to tell you. Jack White is into Pujol too (he put out a release on JW's Third Man Records). By the grace of Jack White go many, so... maybe he's onto something.

Montreal's Pat Jordache is an enchantingly quirky guy with a strange booming baritone that makes ramshackle lo-fi noise pop with slightly goth-y undertones. Let's just say this outright: Pat Jordache's music is weird. Definitely. And his jams give the overall feeling of sounding just sort of... broken; and that's what makes them sound so right. This guy is clearly on his own path.

A frequent tUnE-yArDs collaborator and an ex-Ariel Pink as an influence, so if you're familiar with the mighty Pink's work, you're going to be on the right track to like this. But to my ears, this definitely sounds like uncharted pop territory. It's one thing to listen to something so uniquely bizarre. It's another thing to listen to something so uniquely bizarre and then want to play it again...and again... and again.

Whatever Pat Jordache is doing, not too many people are going to come along and try to replicate it. But with jams as strangely satisfying as this, you can be sure as hell the kids are going to try.

Oh, the places they'll go! That's what we think when we listen to Dive. This band is on the up-up-and-away.

Brooklyn's Dive is Cole Smith (Beach Fossils) + Devin Perez + Andrew Bailey + Colby Hewitt (ex-Smith Westerns). This great new group (who says "group" anymore anyway?) plays shimmery and shiny pop that swirls along with that super clean reverb-y guitar sound that gets me in the gut every time. There's definitely a bit of Kraut rocking around under these melodic jams too... something not in the Beach Fossils repertoire... yet.

The always exceptional Captured Tracks (the label of recent Rockness favorites Widowspeak, Hoop Dreams, Blouse, MINKS and, well, lots more) is releasing Dive's first two 7"s. And I'm about to pick that shit up FOR SURE.

Go see these guys so you can say you saw them before they took over the world. Or, at least Brooklyn. North Brooklyn for sure.

(By the way, if you're reading this sometime before October 18 in the 20011th year of our lord, you should come to the Oh My Rockness CMJ/birthday party and see these guys... but what are the chances you're reading this before then?).